I want You to Know The Real Me
There can be so much more going on in a person's life, or more to who they are, but somehow that person becomes harder to see.
In this article
This isn't my usual informative post, and that's going to change. So grab a cuppa, settle down and get to know me more.
Nice To Meet You, I'm Lana Elliott
I’ve been thinking about how, as we move through life, fewer people seem to see the real us. People get to know us through our jobs, our responsibilities, our profiles and whatever little pieces of ourselves we put out there. There can be so much more going on in a person's life, or more to who they are, but somehow that person becomes harder to see.
I find that such a shame because I want to know the person. I aim to build connections; I want the conversation that wanders a little, and I want the person I'm talking to, to be able to say what they actually think and get past the usual generic “I’m fine, how are you?”
Now don't get me wrong, I am riddled with anxiety and face-to-face talking to new people isn't my strong point, so maybe you're sat there thinking, Jeez, Lana where are you going with this? And I don't blame you because, at this point, even I don't know. All I know is that in a world of technology that interpersonal closeness of friendships and connections away from our phones and computers almost feels none existent.
With technology and AI becoming a considerable part of everyday life, I find myself missing that personal feeling more and more. Occasionally, I read something or receive a reply and wonder whether anyone has stopped to think about the person receiving it. Everything can look polished and sound right yet leave me feeling as though there hasn’t really been a conversation at all, just two people trading words.
And honestly, I hate that feeling.
There can be so much more going on in a person's life, or more to who they are, but somehow that person becomes harder to see
When life gets in the middle of a conversation
You wouldn't ask a friend how they are, find out they're not doing well and then leave the room would you? But where technology is huge when it comes to communicating with friends, it's easy to see what a friend has typed about how they feel, get distracted, put the phone down, and then forget to reply. This leaves that friend feeling vulnerable, more insecure, and alone . . ... I try my best not to do this in my personal life, but I won't lie, I do it. I'm human. Life gets in the middle of a conversation, and before you know it, days have passed before you remember to respond. Now can you see what I mean about the lack of closeness even those closest to us really receive now in the age of technology?
The person behind the title
All of this has made me think about how I show up here, too. I write about trauma, relationships, domestic abuse and emotional wellbeing, but I also want you to get to know the woman doing the writing. There is a person behind the articles and the business name, and I want there to be room for her here.
I realise that when you come across someone’s work online, you often meet their professional introduction first. Mine tells you that I’m Lana Elliott, a trauma-informed life coach and specialist writer, and the founder of Lana Elliott Wellbeing.
Those things explain what I do, but not the person I am or why I do the work I do.
My experiences of trauma and domestic abuse are part of the reason I chose to focus on a career that helps others. They have shaped what matters to me and why I care so much about people being heard, believed, and treated with respect.
I bring my experience with me, while making room for someone else’s to be different. I want to hear how life has been for them, in their words, and understand what they need from our conversations both in my profession but also outside of it too.
When I say, “You don’t have to do this alone,” there is a personal reason those words matter to me. They are connected to why I started, what I hoped to offer, and the way I want people to feel when they speak with me because I felt alone.
Why I waffle
If you have worked with me already, you will know that I waffle a lot, go off-topic and stay true to the person I am despite my profession. Now some people might read that and be horrified and call this unprofessional, I would call it being human.
Every so often a conversation takes a little detour before we find our way back in the end. I feel this can build a stronger connection, as our conversations are more personal rather than clinical. That is very much who I am. I care about what someone has to say, and I enjoy getting to know them beyond the reason they first got in touch.
A few years back now, I was speaking to my therapist regarding past and present abusive situations. We got lost in conversations talking about everything from my troubles to the animals I had at home, where I got them, my favourites, just every day conversation. We went over my appointment by an hour!
From then on, I looked forward to speaking to that therapist, we'd broken that barrier or personal and professional and for me, it worked. It worked to know I had a professional I could turn to but also feel confident to talk to about anything.
I also take full responsibility for the hour we went over our session because I started talking and just waffled on.
That is the kind of space I want to offer here.
When a person needs support, I care about making time for that conversation. I check in on them because I would like to hear how they are getting on. If we have spoken about something difficult, it matters to me how they feel afterwards.
That personal connection is at the Centre of everything I do because it is part of who I am.
Why I write
There is a lot of trust involved in letting someone see a part of your life that you usually keep hidden. Even sending that first message can take thought. You might write it, delete it, read it again, and wonder whether you have explained yourself properly, only to get nothing back.
That is also part of why I write.
Through my writing, I can spend time with the things people sometimes struggle to explain. A feeling they have been brushing aside, a relationship they are beginning to question, or a way of coping that they have spent years judging themselves for.
I hope my words can help someone understand a little more about what they are experiencing. I hope they can make a difficult conversation easier to begin. Every so often an article reaches someone long before they feel ready to speak to anybody, and I care about that connection too.
I'm not the perfect writer in fact, if you saw the way I respond to texts you'd recoil in horror with the shorthand, slang with zero punctuation. I never passed an English degree, but still people ask me to write articles, blogs, and content because, whilst my writing may not be up there with scholars and lawyers, it's relatable, personal and not AI generated. It is written with consideration for the topic and the people I'm writing for, and it covers the emotions the reader may feel whilst still being myself.
What you'll find here
But I also want to share more of myself here.
I have spent so much time over the years thinking about how to explain my work clearly and how to present the business professionally. That matters to me, but I can see how easy it would be to write only about the headline without considering all the topics that fall into that title. The people who may read it and be affected either negatively or positively.
I care about how people are doing, and I want to hear the true answer when I ask. I have my experiences, opinions, and things I am still figuring out, just as you do.
I want to make room for personal thoughts and conversations as well. Not only that, but I aim to be able to tell you why something has stayed with me, ask what you think, and learn something about the people reading. I think this is the place for that, a place where I can post important topics but also include how I feel, cover questions and support more people.
I would like this to feel like somewhere we can speak to each other as human beings. I'm a life coach, but I also have real life experiences, emotions, and a desire to be there for those that need it most.
Come and say hello
So I suppose this is me opening the door a little wider and letting you see more of the person who built the business.
While it's still via technology, I am trying to be more open, responsive, and personal, both in my business and family life. My house isn't big enough for all of us, and my husband may moan if I invite you all in, so for once, using technology is the best way to communicate, and for my marriage.
I’m Lana, and yes, I will probably waffle a bit, and miss out a full stop or two, but I'm me.
I would love to know a little about you, too. What is something you wish people knew about the real you, beyond the version they usually see? Share whatever you feel comfortable sharing, or simply send me a message or comment below. I'm excited to get to know you.